Crochet to the Rescue!

So since the last few weeks have been rough, too many headaches, I have been home.  During the hours I feel okay, I have been crocheting.  I have been working on a blanket for my wonderful little one.

This is a great pattern, because it is easy and can be done with little thought.  I can just sit and work on the squares.  I am making a bedspread for her Shabby Chic room, so lots of colors, and big.  It will take me a while to finish, but I will keep updating progress.  So far, I LOVE it!

Here is the pattern:

R1:Chain three, join with a slip stitch.  Chain two (count as first dc), dc seven in the circle.

R2:Switch color, join anywhere.  Chain two (count as first dc), dc in same stitch, two dc in next stitch, chain two, repeat around the circle for a total of 16 dc and 8 ch. 

R3: Switch color, join in one of the two chain spaces. Chain two (count as first dc), one more dc in the chain two space.  Dc in the next three stitches. Two dc in the two chain space, chain two, two more dcs in the two chain space. Repeat until you get back to the beginning, sl st in the first ch two dc.

R4: Switch color, join in one of the two chain spaces.  Chain two (count as first dc), one more dc in the chain two space.  Dc in the next six stitches.  Two dc in the two chain space, chain two, two more dc in the two chain spaces. Repeat until you get back to the beginning, sl st in the first ch two dc.  

R5: Switch color (I put white on R5, then joined all the squares with white), join in one of the two chain spaces.  Chain two (count as first dc), one more dc in the chain two space.  Dc in the next nine stitches.  Two dc in the two chain space, chain two, two more dc in the two chain space.  Repeat until you get to the beginning, sl st in the first ch two dc.  

Work in all ends.  I will post later this week how I join my squares.  There are lots of different ways, I just have one way I like.  Check back to see it.  

If you make these squares, please post a link so I can see them!!!

Life, As I know it!

So I have not blogged in a few weeks.  I have had it rough, the headaches have been unbareable. I get Botox shots every twelve weeks, but they wear off.  I am up for more shots in a few weeks, which means I will have a few more bad weeks.  I think the Botox is working, I had a few good days; we were even able to go to Silver Dollar City a few times so far this summer. I am only two sets of shots into six treatments total, so I will see how it goes.

Those of you who are in chronic pain, or if you are a caregiver of someone in pain (a caregiver is anyone who listens to, help, or cares for someone), you know the patient will do almost anything to get relief from the pain.  If you are lucky, you get a good pain management doctor.  It is hard to find a good doctor to help you.  Pain management is very misunderstood, we do not want to get high, or sell our pills, people with true Chronic Pain Disorders want some relief, ANY relief.  Pain management does not take away all the pain, just allows the patient to have some relief.

I am finding pain mangement helps you survive, not function completely.  I tried so hard to make it fit my "old" life, working full time.  I am finally coming to the conclusion, I am disablied because of my pain.  I think that may have been the first time I actually admitted that out loud. I will not have the life I once had.

So how do I function with this new life?  I don't know, I am still figuring that out.  I just know I don't want to be judged, disability has such a bad connotation.  I want people to see me for me, a women struggling.  But don't we all struggle? So why do we judge?