So I have not blogged in a few weeks. I have had it rough, the headaches have been unbareable. I get Botox shots every twelve weeks, but they wear off. I am up for more shots in a few weeks, which means I will have a few more bad weeks. I think the Botox is working, I had a few good days; we were even able to go to Silver Dollar City a few times so far this summer. I am only two sets of shots into six treatments total, so I will see how it goes.
Those of you who are in chronic pain, or if you are a caregiver of someone in pain (a caregiver is anyone who listens to, help, or cares for someone), you know the patient will do almost anything to get relief from the pain. If you are lucky, you get a good pain management doctor. It is hard to find a good doctor to help you. Pain management is very misunderstood, we do not want to get high, or sell our pills, people with true Chronic Pain Disorders want some relief, ANY relief. Pain management does not take away all the pain, just allows the patient to have some relief.
I am finding pain mangement helps you survive, not function completely. I tried so hard to make it fit my "old" life, working full time. I am finally coming to the conclusion, I am disablied because of my pain. I think that may have been the first time I actually admitted that out loud. I will not have the life I once had.
So how do I function with this new life? I don't know, I am still figuring that out. I just know I don't want to be judged, disability has such a bad connotation. I want people to see me for me, a women struggling. But don't we all struggle? So why do we judge?
Posts
